My Big Fat Panamanian Carnival

No photos for this blog. Read below to find out why.

Let me begin by saying that I have never favored big festivals. I relate much better to smaller groups. But, my Inner Festival Explorer, goaded by the local buzz, decided to travel into Panama*, to see what all the Hoo-Haw was about. *When people in Panama talk about going to Panama, what they mean is going to Panama City.

Travelling into the Emerald City on the day of Carnival proved to be a failure of logistical judgement on my part. The buses were all full – I had 3 full ones pass me by and even the 4^th was standing room only for the first hour of the trip, until I finally got a seat. The traffic inbound was HORRIFIC, unlike I’ve ever seen it. What is normally a 4 hour trip took almost 8 hours, including my wait at the bus stop. Even though this is the dry season, it started to rain as we got into the City.

When I finally got to the terminal and headed for the Metro, it was another mob scene. Trains were running at peak (3 minute) intervals and still packed. The walk from the Metro to my hotel was filled with honking horns and drizzle. And when I got there, they were full. Again, my bad for not calling ahead. I could have stayed in their Dorm room, but I’m just too old to enjoy sleeping in a room full of 20 year old backpackers who stay up drinking until 3am. Luckily, my back-up hotel is only 2 blocks away and had space, albeit in their annex, with a view of a concrete wall 4 ft away. More bad news:  I had already missed the main event downtown along the waterfront, though there would be other celebrations later that night. But, at least, the rain had stopped.

Things took a decided turn for the better when I went down to the crowded little restaurant for an early dinner and was seated next to a lovely lady from Switzerland. By sheer coincidence Marie-Law went to elementary school with Bertrand Picard (first to fly a solar plane around the world) , who I knew as a lad on Singer Island, FL. She filled me in on the big parade, including photos from her phone. It looked like quite a spectacle. Sorry I missed it. Of course, she grilled me about Trump. The whole world seems to think he’s a joke, but also very dangerous to the world’s peace and economy. She was keen to practice her Spanish and English, so we alternated language every other line or so. We also agreed to escort each other to the celebration in the nearby park, which everyone said was not the Big Deal, but still pretty good.

Dinner was a fixed plate, said to be “Carnival Tipico”. It consisted of lentils, which seem to be a universal Latin good-luck food, fried plantains, a Panama staple, small chunks of beef that had been cooked to almost jerky texture in a BBQ sauce and a side of what I can only describe as vegetable mush – WAY over-cooked mixed veggies – just the way Panamanians like them. And it was all delicious, although the beef taxed my chewing stamina. And a bargain at $4.00. Oh, and a single sardine was offered for burying on the beach for more good luck. I passed on that.

We re-convened at 7, and headed for the park, joining in with a small mass migration in that direction. As we arrived, a church procession was passing the park. Lots of little girls in white lace and little boys dressed in ill-fitting suits, with men in black carrying an icon, which I assumed was Mother Mary, adorned with flowers.

The park is the same one I saw lit-up the night I arrived. The Christmas ornaments were gone, leaving just the cascading white lights – quite spectacular. In some areas, there were big flood lights. And, boy was it packed. There was a trail of sorts that ran through the park, lined with all manner of vendors - popcorn, sandwiches, ice cream, banana chips, kabobs, hot dogs, big pretzels and especially beer vendors. There seemed to be a beer stand every 100 feet or so, mostly the local Atlas. Budweiser and Miller both had stands, so I partook of an MGD and later, a Bud. They only sold in cups, since we later discovered that a “tradition” is to throw your cup in the air when you finish a beer or applaud. Like throwing the champagne glasses into the fireplace, only safer and not as romantic.

I had a little bump-up against the arm of a large black fellow in a toga robe, who spilled his beer and looked like he wanted to fight. So, I threw up my arms and backed away as he muttered some choice words. “Pinche Gringo” was the only thing I recognized, along with an enraged middle finger. Definitely got my adrenaline running.

After that, we were propelled along the midway by the animated and inebriated crowd, eventually finding a place we could stand and watch the throng. It was quite a mixed bag. There were older folks dressed to the nines, like they were going to a ball. Some young men, dressed as men, but faces and hair made up like women. At least I’m pretty sure they were men. Some rather attractive. There was also a Kiss element – many faces and garb of that venerable rock group. LOTS of masks of all sorts, including glittery, feathery ones, superheros and several monsters and dragons. An absolute dearth of kids. This party is definitely “R” rated. Quite a scene.

It turns out there was no parade of floats, as I had hoped, at our location. Every so often the revelry was interrupted by various performing groups. There was a bunch of guys dancing on stilts, jugglers, body builders in very tiny bathing suits, fire-breathers, some folks with huge paper mache heads, clowns, of course , a rather risqué dancing group and one band of bagpipers. One of my favorites was a group of Jedis, who did a beautifully choreographed dance with their light sabers. A gang of four Trumps seemed to relish getting Booed and returning fire with “the finger”. (I would not suggest the The Donald visit Panama any time soon). All groups had people collecting money in the crowd. At least I think/hope that is what was happening. The most popular musical numbers, by far, were the Macarena (yes, it is still alive in Latin America) and Shaky, Shaky Shaky by the rap artist Daddy Yankee. And the crowd joined in with Mucho Gusto !! As the groups would stop and perform , the crowd gave them space and applauded with loud yelling, giving money and tossing empty cups and cans in the air. Duck & Cover. As Marie-Law sadly discovered, not all the cups are emptied before launch.

I have to say that the enthusiastic energy at an event like this is absolutely contagious. I was jumping up and down and screaming and laughing and cheering and tossing cups in the air with the best of them. It’s like some self-cast spell that the crowd places on itself. You’d have to be near death not to pick up the vibe and be transported by it. Maybe that’s the huge allure of this type of event. Or maybe it’s all the beer.

After a few hours, I went for the camera in my side pants pocket and found it missing. This caused Marie-Law to check her backpack slung over her arm and discover her cell phone missing, as well. We’d been picked clean as a whistle, though nothing else was taken. First time in my life I’ve had something stolen. In all fairness, I’d been warned about the gangs of pick-pockets that frequent these events. Peace Corps even sent out a timely reminder, which I failed to heed. This brought a sudden, sullen end to Carnival for us and we headed back to the hotel.  In retrospect, it really was a perfect site for pick-pockets – lots of bumping in the crowd and very few police, except on the streets.  I was told this morning that the police are all in plain clothes at these events. I was awakened about 11:30 by fireworks which lasted a full hour and seemed to be right outside my window, though they were about 1 KM away. Sound must have bounced off the building next door. I finally got dressed and went outside to watch. Since it was after midnight, I pretended the pyrotechnic display was for my birthday.

I’ll have to wait on my return until 10am this morning, when the Albrook Mall opens, to replace my camera. Not a big loss, though all the fabulous photos I took are gone.  Marie-Law will have to wait a couple of days for her uncle, who works for Samsung, to send her another phone. A much bigger loss.

So, let’s see – made a nice new friend, had good food, saw masses of drunken people dressed in wild costumes and masks, saw some very cool entertainment, did the “Shaky, Shaky, Shaky” ( the Macarena still eludes me), was verbally abused, was wonderfully excited, got pick-pocketed for the first time, saw good fireworks, endured horrendous bus ride. On balance, slightly positive. And good experience.

I still retain my driving thirst for new experiences, places. people and activities. But the next time my Inner Festival Explorer gets any bright ideas about attending a huge event like this, I think I’ll just remind it of Panama Carnival 2017. And maybe we’ll give it a second thought.