Bocas Vacation

Big container ship at the Gamboa locks - Panama Canal

The fun started even before I got to the City. It was early Sunday morning and four large and very inebriated gentlemen got on the bus, carrying beer cans and swilling as they boarded. I was surprised the driver let them on, but then again, I’d never seen them refuse passage to anyone. After several minutes of loud drunken shouting, the lads discovered that their cans were dry and told the bus driver to pull over at the bar that was in sight. When the driver ignored the request, the largest of the drunkards jumped up and flashed a badge in the drivers face and repeated the demand, with a bit more force. That was when I noticed the gun in his pants behind his back.

Culebra Cut - the hardest excavation on the Canal route

The driver backed the bus down the PanAm Hwy, which was thankfully not crowded on Sunday morning and the entire bus waited while Senor Protect and Serve woke up the bar owner and got his beers. I’ve seen lots of Police abuse in Mexico and Peru, but nothing quite this forceful. It made me steaming angry. But, the last thing a Gringo should do is mess with the National Police. We all assumed he was Federale because of the gun and we were all pretty intimidated and in shock.

Biggest wind farm in Central America

Just a few LONG minutes later, we saw two Transit Police cycles up ahead and the driver quickly jumped out of the bus and had words with the cops. Just as quickly (and muttering multiple curses) the big Fed got out. The Transit cops were terrific and backed the drunk down – I think he was about to pass out anyway. One of his buddies was already asleep in the bus. They got all the drunks off the bus, to the cheers and applause of all us passengers and we were speedily on our way. I hope the bastards heard us all clapping and cheering as they got off the bus. And I hope they got in some kind of a jam for the bad behavior. Moral of the story is : police abuse goes to a whole ‘nuther level in the lower latitudes.

After that, the rest of the trip seemed pretty dull. I made my bus change in the National Terminal to a big 2 level interstate cruiser to David, the second largest city in Panama. This bus is like the first class and Plus class buses in Peru or Mexico. Big wide leather seats that recline way back, in flight movies and a toilet. More importantly, these routes attract the best of the best drivers – men (sorry ladies, NO women drivers) with large balls of pure steel. Their driving is a sight to behold, as they weave the big monsters through traffic. At meal stops, they eat in a special dining room and are otherwise treated as celebrity. Very much like the drivers in Mexico.

David is famous for Panama hats - all styles

We took the Centennial Bridge across the Canal, which gives a great view of the Gamboa locks and the Culebra Cut – the tightest and hardest excavation on the Canal route. It also goes right past one of the big residential areas were the American Canal workers used to live, complete with major league size baseball fields. After that, it’s through the ugly new bedroom commuting communities, with their sterile “little boxes” and monster shopping malls – a sad American copy. Next come the very beautiful, architecturally stunning and spiritually and ecologically bankrupt Million Dollar beach condos of San Carlos and San Lorenzo (actually, prices start at a mere $300K). Sheraton, Marriott, Astor, Hilton are all there – sticking out from the surrounding jungle and beaches like big sore thumbs. Then through the big agricultural areas that are giving way to development and past the desolate hills after Penonome, where I don’t even see cattle or anything. That area is the site of the monster Laudato Si wind farm – as far as I can tell the only one in Panama and the largest in Central America. After 12 hours on the bus, I decided to stop in David for the night.

The "Aquarius" restaurant , near the "Far Out Inn"

David (dah-VEED) is the second largest city in Panama and is the gateway to Boquete and the other American retirement centers, as well as to the Bocas del Toro (Mouths of the Bull) area. How a bull can have multiple mouths is a mystery to me. David itself is home many US retirees. I met one at the Pio-Pio – Panama’s biggest fast food chain – having breakfast. He seemed annoyed that I was asking him questions, so I didn’t learn much. He used to live in Boquete until the rents went way up. He now pays “a couple hundred” for an efficiency in David. He doesn’t like the heat of David, but just can’t afford Boquete any more, now that “the rich folks’ have moved in. Basically, I think he would be homeless in the US – he had that homeless, unkempt look anyway. He and his friends hang in the park all day and play cards or checkers. Mad at the world and no way to live on his “shit” Social Security in the US. At least in Panama he can live on his own, saving up just enough to make the 1 hour bus ride into Costa Rica and back every 6 months to renew his visa. The only catch is no Medicare. If you get seriously sick, you’re outta there.

Outstanding roasted beef and chicken

The bus ride from David up and over the mountains to Chiriqui and Bocas was a twisting, turning, up and down, back and forth, gear grinding, brake burning, gut tightening, ear popping, scenically sensational trip. Whoever engineered the route gave no thought to flattening hills or straightening curves. Or guard rails, for that matter. The road seemed to follow the terrain, staying mostly on the ridge lines. Maybe it just followed some ancient trail. In any case, there were no cut-backs used at all. Just some very steep inclines and hard corners. At one point, someone yelled “BOLSA” and a white plastic “sickness” bag flew their way and was immediately put to good use.

Part of the Changuinola Dam

The physical strain aside, it was a gorgeous trip. The palms of the plain quickly gave way to cedar and lots of pine, the air temp dropped rapidly, as well, which allowed the windows to open and replace the smell of upchuck with fresh pine forest. We stopped near the peak to hit the bathrooms, eat and catch our breath. 

Skay and Hawk Junior - children of a hippie commune

The name of the restaurant was “Aquarius” , which made sense when I met Sky and Hawk Junior. They are the son and daughter of some of a group of hippies from UC Santa Cruz who moved to the area in the late 60’s and started a community. Only a couple of the original group are still around, but many of the kids and grandkids have stayed and others have come to live there. Sky and Hawk run what used to be the “compound” (now “El Refugio”). Others have started nearby hostels and services. There is the “Lost & Found Hostel”, the “Far Out Inn”, a garden and fish farm cooperative and a gal who makes chocolates from scratch – starting from the tree. It all seems pretty groovy, man.

Waterfalls come out of the rock all over the place

Coming down the other side of the mountains was a sudden shift to tropical rain forest, with huge prehistoric looking ferns and monster air plants covering some of the trees. There is another big dam project – again courtesy of USAID – the Changuinola Dam. This one supplies power to the entire Chiriqui / Bocas area. A big plus in building the dam was that it gave easy access to a big oil field at the base of what used to be a big waterfall (1/2 Niagara size) before the dam was built. So, huge power lines and a 4 foot diameter pipeline wind through the jungle, sometimes along the road, headed for the tanker port at Chiriqui Grande. As far as I know, this is Panama’s only oil field. 

Ngobe-Bugle homes are quite different from the Kuna and Embera

The route also passes through the Ngobe-Bugle tribe’s comarca (reservation). They share some common ground with my Kuna and Embera friends – homes are built on stilts, but more closed-in and bright colored dresses for the women. Though these look like they were made by an angry Amish or Mormon designer. On a really bad day. They are generally larger in both directions and have more square and hard facial features.

Changuinola is Chiquita Banana Town

Entering Changuinola was like coming into the Emerald City – everything is bright green. The weather in this area of Panama is a micro-climate unlike the rest of the country. There is no dry season – it rains all year round. Which makes the area uniquely suited for ……. BANANAS !! Yes, this is the epicenter and home of United Fruit (aka Chiquita Banana). That sultry lady with the fruity hat is everywhere. Most of the town works for her and there are banana fields as far as you can see in every direction. You can ride down a road for miles and see nothing but banana plants with their hands covered in blue plastic wrap to keep out insects and critters. Red string holds many of the stalks upright. An ingenious system of cables helps move the cut bananas. There is a golf course just for the Chiquita managers with very nice homes all along the edges. The workers have their own housing – not quite as nice. All the fruit goes into shipping containers and rolls down the road to Almirante and off to mostly the southern and east coast ports of the US. There used to be a dedicated train line that carried the fruit down the coast, but it was discontinued when shipping containers came into use in the 60’s. 

Ngobe-Bugle dresses are REALLY plain

The big bright yellow Cavendish bananas are sold in the markets here. While I enjoy my little finger bananas at the cottage, I have to admit that there is nothing like the taste of a Cavendish. Maybe just because that is what I grew up eating. But, they are just more “banana” tasting to me.  The other thing that stands out about Changuinola are the very clean streets – not a scrap of trash to be found anywhere – I think due to the small plastic trash cans every 100 feet or so. Well Done !!

Almirante houses over the water - toilets are direct deposit

Almirante is not only the banana gateway, it is the tourist gateway to Bocas del Toro Island (Bocas). There is an hourly ferry which takes 2 hours in crossing. OR, my preference which is the high speed motor launch. 250 horses push the skiffs across the bay in about 15 minutes. 

High speed launch to Bocas Island

$500 a night at this charming boutique hotel

Bocas is fast becoming a high end international vacation destination. Most of the high rollers miss the boat ride and fly into the airport from Panama City or wherever. For me, just getting near boats is arousing – that smell of stale fuel and salt water is just so sweet. Especially when I’ve been away from it for too long.

Bocas waterfront hotels - Bahamas Redux

Arriving to Bocas felt like being transported back to the Bahamas. The colors, the architecture, the smells, the sounds were all the same. The blacks all speak a British-like jargon, much like Bahamas or Jamaica and also Spanish. The water is that gorgeous greenish blue and the fish around the dock pilings are just as pretty. All very reasonable, since their ancestors were former slaves in the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, staying on the main waterfront is pricey - $300-$500 a night. So, I opted for a $50 room down the road with Mamallena, the same company that runs the eco-lodge where I stayed in Valle de Anton last year. Very nice simple rooms, outstanding food and eclectic guests to chat with. The beach is OK, but sheltered with no waves and no reef and not so white. The first night, I sat with two young Russian lads, who delighted in taunting me about Trump. “He will be sucking Putin’s cock soon.” The only thing that saved the evening was a piece of robalo (snook) in a curry sauce that made my toes curl. Because of all the mangrove in the area, snook is THE most common fish in the market. Floridians, eat your hearts out……….

Red Frog beach - you can see the waves breaking over part of the reef

My PADI dive card was in my pocket, but no scuba diving, as the deeper dive reefs were too cloudy from recent rains. So, we went to Red Frog beach to snorkel instead. Turned out just fine as the shallow reef was one of the best I’ve ever seen from 5 to 10 feet. It got better (less choppy) as the tide came in. The beach can only be accessed by boat, which made it nice and private. Big Bob, the Aussie ex-pat divemaster, speared two good sized grouper, so we had fire roasted fish, avocados and (of course) bananas for lunch. An absolutely delightful day, though I caught just a tad too much sun. I sat with an older couple from Peru at dinner. They were not in the areas of the heavy rains and mudslide, but said it was a huge crisis.  They seemed to know all the places I had visited and we had a great time along Memory Lane. This time the chef did a coconut shrimp and a banana pudding that were simply extraordinary. I always wonder what the folks who are paying $500 a night and $50 a piece for dinner get that is any better than this? Maybe they think bragging rights about staying at a known-to-be expensive resort is worth it. Though, I will admit that staying in a building entirely built on pilings is unique. Still not worth $500 to me.

I took the 12 hour direct bus back to the City, which was a mistake. Just a little too long for my liking. And no one seems interested in talking on the long hauls – they just want to sleep. For an extra $50, next time I’ll take the 30 minute airplane ride from Changuinola into the Albrook airport. The crazy part is that the same trip from the touristy Bocas airport is $100 more and the exact same distance. Go figure.

Now, I’ll let you in on the little secret – Changuinola will likely be my home for my next Peace Corps Response service. The folks at Ministry of Health (MINSA) and an NGO called Waterlines need someone to rehabilitate 10 – 12 small water systems in the Ngobe-Bugle comarca between Changuinola and Almirante. And there is this older guy I know who is pretty good at doing just that and wouldn’t mind spending some time 4 Km from the beach, with all the Chiquita bananas and snook he can eat. Not for sure yet, but confidence is high.